Shape of my heart

Shape of my heart。

第一次聽這首歌是在一場同事們的聚會上。

那是 1995 年某個夏天的晚上，有線電視台的同事們，約了在台南東寧路上一家叫做 "西瓜" 的店，也許是慶生，也許為了其他的事情。記憶的這部份已經磨損了。

開在路邊半戶外的店沒冷氣，一大群人擠在店裡，聊天笑鬧。風扇轉動著。

西瓜的老闆據說是音響玩家，店裡總是播放著不同的 LD 影碟。

那還是個用 LD 的年代。

一開始吸引我的不是電影畫面，而是音樂。

陰霾低沉，會滲到血液裡並且搔刮些甚麼的配樂。

LS3/5A 厚實的中頻穿過喧嘩聲直達心臟。

我索性換到螢幕前的位子，專心的看起電影。

播放的是盧貝松的終極追殺令 ( LEON )。

那是盧貝松的第一部好萊塢商業電影。
殺手尚雷諾救了全家被壞警察滅口的鄰居小女孩娜塔莉波曼。
神出鬼沒殺人毫不手軟的冷酷表面下，殺手卻有著柔軟而單純的心。
小女孩跟著殺手開始一段溫暖卻荒謬的殺手人生。
愛聽貝多芬的緝毒暑警察，藥嗑的太多以致於殺起人來比殺手還變態，眼神渙散的蓋瑞歐德曼演來入木三分。
為了保護女孩，殺手最後在警方重兵攻堅下，終究傷重倒地。
渾身是血只剩一口氣的尚雷諾等待著，當蓋瑞歐德曼靠近時，拉出手榴彈保險拉環，塞在壞警察的手中。

電影結束，鏡頭從 13 歲的娜塔莉波曼上方逐漸拉高，片尾歌曲 Shape of my heart 揚起。

心裡不知道被什麼打動了，我忍住淚水聽著 Sting 一遍遍反覆：那不是我心的形狀....
that's not the shape of my heart....
But that's not the shape of my heart...

轉眼 17 年過去。

這天在臉書上看見有人轉貼了 youtube 上一段影片，馬友友的大提琴和 Chris Botti 的小喇叭跨界對話，共同演奏爵士版的新天堂樂園。

我的天！真好聽。

我追著繼續搜尋 Chris Botti ，想看看有沒有更多的跨界爵士。結果卻發現 Chris Botti 在同一場音樂會上，和 Sting 以及 Josh Groban 合作演出了 Shape of my heart 這首歌。

翻出滿是灰塵的 Sting，找出歌詞，點亮真空管，倒半杯威士忌。

今晚，要和搖滾詩人重溫 17 年前的感動。

He deals the cards as a meditation

And those he plays never suspect

He doesn't play for the money he wins

He doesn't play for respect

He deals the cards to find the answer

The sacred geometry of chance

The hidden law of a probable outcome

The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are swords of a soldier

I know that the clubs are weapons of war

I know that diamonds mean money for this art

But that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds

He may lay the queen of spades

He may conceal a king in his hand

While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are swords of a soldier

I know that the clubs are weapons of war

I know that diamonds mean money for this art

But that's not the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you

You'd maybe think there's something wrong

I'm not a man of too many faces

The mask I wear is one

Those who speak know nothing

And find out to their cost

Like those who curse their luck in too many places

And those who fear are lost

I know that the spades are swords of a soldier

I know that the clubs are weapons of war

I know that diamonds mean money for this art

But that's not the shape of my heart